Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize