fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
