just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
