youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
