She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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