I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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