Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
