If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
