I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize