In the future we'll all be gay
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
