I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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