just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
