So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
