Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
