This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
