i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We got so high we made milksteak
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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