some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
