no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
