You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I currently don't understand fingers.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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