well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
