I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
