Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
