I've blown a few things in my day
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
