I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize