i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
