Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
