seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
