I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
