Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize