ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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