Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
