My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
