You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We're too hungover to prance.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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