she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i came on her dog
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Enjoy the penises
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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