Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
