what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
