What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize
