Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
