you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
