Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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