Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
