you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
