would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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