Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
