there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I think i got beer on your cat.
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