i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
