That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
