2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
