You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
