at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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