OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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