Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
