she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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