How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
