I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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