Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You can't motorboat a personality
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
