I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
