I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
