Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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