my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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