i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
