I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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